Guilty Conscience
by Scarpaw
Summary: It's been two months since it happened, and he's stilling feeling guilty about it. Luckily, some friends are too hard-headed to know when to quit.


I have another one-shot up when I should really be working on my stories. Oh well, I had this idea and I really wanted to get it out of my head.

This has shounen-ai, however poorly written it may be. It is One-sided Heartshipping and RyouxOtogi.

Warnings? Character Death (Sorry! T.T The muses made me do it.)

Read the story! ^_^

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh in any way, shape, or form.**

**_Guilty Conscience_**

He didn't want to do this. He walked on unsteady feet through the cemetery. He didn't want to be there- he wanted to turn around, run back home and hide himself away forever. It felt like with every step he took he grudged saying he was going more and more. He wished someone had come with him, despite the fact he had said he was going by himself.

Finally, he got to where he was heading, and stood in front of it, flowers clutched in his hand. Tears were threatening to spill from his eyes, and he collapsed to his knees, the flowers scattering over the ground.

It was all his fault that he was gone! Tears streamed down his cheeks and his hands dug into the ground in front of him, trying to keep himself from falling to the ground completely.

Picking himself up and onto his knees, he sniffled and wiped his eyes. He didn't want anyone to see he was crying. Crying was a sign of weakness, he had always been taught. Crying was for the weak, and he wasn't supposed to be weak.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to calm down as he picked up the scattered flowers. He swiped the back of his hand across his eyes, wiping away any remaining tears.

He didn't get up for the longest time, not until the evening had started, and it begun to get colder. He himself had just started shivering when the voice called out from behind him.

"Ryou? What are you still doing out here?" Ryou jumped, not expecting the voice, and turning to face Otogi as he stood up.

"Otogi-kun…" A fake smile appeared on Ryou's face. "I was just visiting…" The rest of the sentence was left unsaid, and a look of annoyance seemed to appear on Otogi's face.

"I know," Otogi replied. "You left a few hours ago. What are you still doing out here?" Ryou stood there and shivered, an answer not coming to him as he stood in the ever relentless rain.

Otogi sighed and grabbed Ryou's wrist and pulled him under the umbrella.

"Let's get you into warmer clothes and then we'll talk."

Ryou merely nodded, because Otogi's tone of voice left no room for argument.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Half an hour later, the two boys were sitting across from each other, Ryou fiddling with his hands and looking down into his lap. He really didn't want to talk about this.

"Ryou," Otogi sighed, finally breaking the tension that had accumulated during the silence. "You've got to stop doing this to yourself."

"I'm doing anything to myself," Ryou murmured defensively back, head still bowed as he refused eye contact with Ryou. "Nothing's wrong."

Otogi had to suppress a snort. Nothing was wrong? Ryou had been right since they came back from Egypt two months ago. Everybody knew he felt it was fault for what had happened, but nobody tried helping him. They only let him wallow in self pity, like that would make him feel better.

But Otogi wouldn't let him wallow in his pity. He was always trying to make Ryou happy and get him into stuff everybody did, but more often than not Ryou would slip from Otogi's grasp.

Today was actually the first day that he actually went. He told the whole group that he was going, and that he wanted to go alone. Otogi hadn't been sure if it was a good idea to let him go alone, but Anzu wouldn't let him tag along. She told Otogi that Ryou had to do it on his own.

Like hell he had to do it on his own! Ryou was suffering enough on his own as it was. Who wouldn't want to put him in even more pain as it was?

"Like Hell you're fine Ryou." Otogi told Ryou bluntly, causing Ryou to jump and look up at Otogi frightened. "You've never been fine. Ever since you guys got back you've been wallowing in self pity. This has got to stop. Making yourself sick with guilt isn't going to bring him back! He's dead Ryou, but it wasn't your fault!" Tears watered in Ryou's eyes as he lowered his head once more.

"Of course it's my fault." Ryou sniffed, trying to hold back the tears. "I was the one closest to him. If only I had reacted faster, he'd still be alive! Otogi-kun, it's my fault he's dead!" Otogi's hands clenched into fists as he struggled not to lose his temper and do something he'd regret to Ryou.

"So you believe," Otogi said, his voice almost a growl. "That if Jounouchi or Honda had been in your position that he would have lived? That he would be here with us now? Are you insinuating that they can do what you can't?" Ryou flinched, and he began twisting his hands more furiously than before.

"No…" His voice was incredibly small, and Otogi had a hard time hearing the answer. However, after he heard the answer, he continued the onslaught as harsh as ever.

"Then what?" Otogi snapped. "What are you trying to prove, making yourself feel so guilty over something that wasn't your fault?!"

"You don't understand!" Ryou wailed, tears falling from his eyes. "You won't understand!" Otogi grimaced a bit.

"Then make me understand Ryou." Otogi said, his voice lowering in tone to be at least semi-calm. "What are you trying to prove?"

"I… I don't want to talk about Otogi-kun. Not right now." Ryou slumped in his seat, his eyes still on the ground.

"No." Ryou looked up, surprised, and echoed the words confused.

"No?" Otogi nodded.

"We're talking about this _now_." Otogi ordered. "Not later, now. You've had two months to wallow and bury yourself in guilt and self pity. Time's up. Time to face the world." Tears watered in Ryou's eyes.

"Please Otogi-kun." Ryou begged. "Not now." Otogi shook his head.

"Ryou, we need to take care of this now!" Otogi told him. "The longer we wait, the more it's going to hurt you." Tears fell down Ryou's cheeks.

"I… I loved him Otogi-kun." Ryou finally said after what seemed to be an eternity of silence. "Do you know how it feels to see someone you love die in front of your eyes?" Otogi was stunned into silence, and Ryou took it as his cue to get up. He got up from his seat and made his way towards the door. He was almost to it when Otogi stopped him.

"Do you really think he would've liked you doing this to yourself?" Otogi asked Ryou. Ryou froze, and didn't know how to reply. What could he say?

"You need to move on Ryou." Otogi informed Ryou. "What you don't get is that although you lost somebody you loved, the world keeps turning. And while you keep beating yourself over something that wasn't your fault, you're hurting other people." Ryou blinked.

"Hurting… other people? What do you mean Otogi-kun?" Ryou didn't understand. What was Otogi trying to say? Otogi shook his head.

"Nothing Ryou." He answered, but Ryou wouldn't take it.

"No, answer me!" Ryou wanted to know what Otogi was talking about.

Otogi laughed as he walked over to Ryou and kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you." Otogi told Ryou simply. "And I don't like having to watch you beat yourself up over something that wasn't your fault."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

It was one month later, and they were making their way to the grave, holding hands loosely. Ryou was holding a bouquet of flowers to lie on the grave. They were nearly there when Ryou stopped suddenly. Otogi stopped with Ryou and gave him a questioning look.

"What's wrong?" Otogi inquired. Ryou shook his head.

"I… I can't do this Otogi." Tears were forming in his eyes. "I can't do this."

"You can do this," Otogi told Ryou firmly, and they were walking again.

When they got to the grave, Otogi released Ryou's hand and let Ryou go to his knees in front of the grave and lay down the flowers. Ryou offered the grave a weak smile.

"I…" Ryou hesitated. What if he was still mad at him? What if his apology wasn't accepted?

Otogi took Ryou's hand into his and squeezed it gently. Everything would be alright.

"I'm sorry," Ryou said to the grave. "Yuugi-kun."

And both boys would swear later that they had seen the ghost of Yuugi appear in front of them saying the words,

"_Apology accepted Ryou!_" With a bright smile on his face, just like in the old days.

_**Owari**_

Uh, yeah... It's probably really horrible seeing as it's one of my first attempts at angst... I thought it was (kinda) cute as I was writing, but inevitably it's up to you guys!

Please read and review and tell me what you think!

~~Paw-Chan Signing Out~~


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